The 16 Things Trump Didn’t Learn in Kindergarten.

John Matterson
4 min readSep 30, 2020

I finally brought myself around to watching some of the lowlights of the Presidential “debate” this morning. I avoid things that upset me before I go to bed, so there was no way I was going to watch it live.

Trump unsurprisingly behaved like a child.

Children interrupt because either they are too young, impulsive OR they don’t have any tools for respectfully interrupting. Another key reason for interrupting is that some children don’t have skills or a set plan for how to wait.”

He lies, he’s a bully, and he speaks out of turn. According to Robert Fulghum’s book “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten” published in 1986, Kindergarten was where we should have developed many of the basic skills to carry us through life.

Here are the 16 lessons Robert Fulghum identified:

1. Share everything. Trump is a narcissist that only worries about himself. There are a great couple of photos of President Trump and President Obama along with their wives walking in the rain. Trump has the umbrella over his head, while Melania walks in the rain. Obama, of course, is getting soaked while Michelle is under the umbrella. This says a lot about his character, and also about his hair.

2. Play fair. He accepts foreign help in elections, lies about other people cheating, and calls people hurtful names. He reduces taxes on the rich and tells his low income supporters he is helping them. Oh yes, and he’s also a white supremist racist.

3. Don’t hit people. He may not have hit people himself because he does have those bone spurs, but he had the National Guard forcibly move peaceful protesters for a ridiculous photo op with a book he knows nothing about. He also mocked a journalist for getting shot at a peaceful rally.

4. Put things back where you found them. Whether it’s the EPA, Education or Healthcare, he is causing destruction every day. It’s going to take a long time to put things back. Let’s just hope it is only a four-year correction.

5. Clean up your own mess. It is always someone else’s fault. Corona Virus deaths are higher per capita than every other country in the world, and unemployment is high. He is blaming the Governors and even Biden who doesn’t hold office right now. Unfortunately, like a toddler, he doesn’t know how to clean up.

6. Don’t take things that aren’t yours. Remember: “Grab ’em by the p***y. You can do anything.”?

7. Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody. He may have used the word, but I don’t believe he’s ever meant it.

8. Wash your hands before you eat. Based on his response to Covid 19, he must have missed this lesson as he continued to hold large rally’s, encouraged people to get together and get back to work, and made the wearing of a mask a political issue.

9. Flush. I saw a picture of The Rock wearing a t-shirt recently that said “Flush the turd on November 3rd”. I couldn’t agree more.

10. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. Yes, they are. Who needed to go to Kindergarten to figure that out?

11. Live a balanced life. He seems to have this one figured out, although he could do a little more work. 293 rounds of golf as President as of today. Retired golfers don’t play that much.

12. Take a nap every afternoon. It’s hard to do when you don’t start working until 11am, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he squeezes one in.

13. When you go out in the world stick together. With China, North Korea and Russia he has been very open to talking to them. If it’s Canada, Mexico, New Zealand, Australia, South Korea, Europe, and all the “shit hole” countries in Africa, maybe there is some room for improvement.

14. Be aware of wonder. It brings up the image of Trump staring into the solar eclipse without protective eyewear. A foreshadowing of him refusing to wear a mask.

15. Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup — they all die. So do we. It just happens faster under Trumps Leadership on Healthcare and Covid 19.

16. And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned — the biggest word of all — LOOK. He is too blinded by his focus on himself to see anything else. Plus, I’m not sure he has ever read a book let alone Dick and Jane.

He is lacking in these basic skills. He does not have the competency to be President. Yet he still has approval of over 40%?

Vote Him Out!



John Matterson

I am a writer that happens to have Parkinson’s. I write about my experiences with a balance of humour, optimism and honesty.