We Can all get Along — With Humility and Creativity
The Socratic method was designed with the objective of creating cooperative arguments to support critical thinking. It was intended to help find the best path forward. Now, it seems, we’ve simplified things and just argue. Cooperation has become a thing of the past, and there is little thinking going on. We cross examine aggressively searching for any hole in our opponent’s point of view without admission of any of its strengths. We either argue until our side wins, or the argument never ends.
Winning has become so important that we are no longer letting the facts get in the way.
“Convincing yourself does not win an argument.” Robert Half
If I was to ask anyone reading this whether you should admit to being wrong when you know you are, or admit it when you realize someone has a better idea than you, I am confident every one of you would say yes. I believe you. The problem must be with everyone else.
Perhaps we are not looking hard enough to understand what is happening. Could it be we aren’t listening for better ideas. Are we too busy tuning out the opposition?
Should we start by finding some common ground?
I’ve never voted for the current BC government, but I admire the work they have done with Covid, and their focus on social issues.
I’ve only voted for the Conservative Party in Canada once, and I don’t plan to do it again, but I was pleased to see their newly elected leader is willing to talk about some issues that I see as important to our country.
I lived in the US for 8 years, and If I had been able to vote, I wouldn’t have voted Republican but, … let me think…nope… I’ve got nothing. To the 41% of you that think he is doing a great job, I am ok not getting along with you for now.
As you read the statements above, did you think “yes, but…”? Common ground could be a starting point, but aren’t we looking for more than compromise? We really want the best solution rather than a politically arrived at one.
We need to take a bigger step back. We must replace our need to be right — our focus on pride - with humility. Instead of being apathatic, we require creativity.
Humility is a strength. It is about being truly open to new ideas. It’s accepting that you don’t have all the answers and being open to other ways of doing things. It is taking the time to really understand other people’s truth. Their perspective. Maybe after you do that, they will be willing to listen to yours.
Creativity is something we all have. It isn’t just relevant in the arts. It’s triggered by curiosity which stimulates us to visualize things in a different way. It helps us travel outside of the rut we are in that we call normal.
This is not an easy ask. I’ve been known to like a good argument. I have even been known to lose it when someone couldn’t see things my way.
It is a habit I am working on breaking, and having Parkinson’s just reinforces that need. If I get angry, my voice goes even higher than it used to. Irritation comes out emotional, anxious and exaggerated. Besides sounding whiney, it’s exhausting. It also solves nothing, and usually ends with having to apologize.
We are social beings and are dependent on each other to survive. If more of us act with humility and curiosity, who knows, it could catch on. Next time you read something online, or hear someone say something, whether you agree or disagree, be curious. Be willing to listen to another perspective.
Having us all get along has to start somewhere.
