What is Anxiety?
A Skeptical Parky’s Views on Getting to Wellness.
A friend asked me recently, “What is anxiety?” He knew I took medication to control my anxiety which is one of the clinical symptoms of Parkinson’s.
I rambled on for a while but was not satisfied with my off the cuff explanation. I’ve been asked the same question before, and each time I feel like I am trying to sell it as a real thing. I am expecting the person asking the question to be sceptical because I once was. Prior to my own experience, my thinking leaned towards it being something that people just needed to get over. “Just walk it off” as my coaches used to say. It’s unfortunate that I had to get it in order to “get it”.
Anxiety includes common feelings of tension and worry. We’ve all experienced these, and if you haven’t, you’ve got bigger problems.
With anxiety those common feelings linger. I can’t speak for anyone else, but for me it feels like I’m being overtaken by recurring intrusive thoughts. Feelings and concerns that get in the way of thinking clearly or of completing some of simplest tasks. It can shut you down.
I also have the added bonus that the drugs that help me deal with Parkinson’s have side effects including vivid dreams or even hallucinations. Fortunately, after experiencing hallucinations a few years ago, I seem to have shaken that demon for now. The dreams I have though are so real that when I wake up it takes me time to connect the dots between reality and dreamland. I have gone as far as getting out of bed to call in sick for work. That would be less strange if I had a job.
In my most common recurring dream, I am at work and unprepared or late for an important meeting of some sort. It is as if everyone else is finally figuring out that I have no idea what I am doing. I regularly struggle in my dreams over whether to tell my employer I can’t work anymore because I have Parkinson’s. I’ve yet to resolve this in my dreams, but it is a conclusion that was arrived at in the real world almost 3 years ago.
I’m sure there is a deep psychological explanation for these dreams, but they can also be entertaining. I wake up remembering people I haven’t given a thought about for years. Some of you are stranger than I remember. People that worked for different companies are now working together which I even recognize as strange while I am dreaming. It’s like I am not asleep or awake.
The dreams do have a lingering affect. I have woken up a few times feeling real anger towards individuals that are hard to get past. Don’t worry I’m not talking about you.
At the advice of a neurologist, I have tried many drug combinations to help me sleep, but not so well that I dream too much. It’s very much trial and error. Personally, I believe whisky is at least part of the answer, so I continue to run a personal trial in the name of science.
Anxiety and mental health are serious issues. Don’t let anyone’s skepticism make you think otherwise. I receive amazing medical support, and I also work to find the balance I need for my own wellness.
Focus on balance;
1. Pace yourself. I try to be realistic as to what I can get done. I go for balance. You don’t always need to be doing. It took me a while to accept reading as an important activity rather than something you did when you were exhausted from everything else.
2. Challenge yourself mentally and physically. Just not too much.
o. Exercise your brain. Reading, socializing, learning.
o Exercise your body. Walk, Go to the gym. When I feel anxious, the quickest way to get past it is going for a walk. I still need to add yoga to my regiment.
3. Eat Well. I tend to be on a yoyo cycle in terms of healthy eating and unhealthy eating. I’m at the wrong end of that cycle now. No time better than today to make positive changes.
4. Laugh. Don’t take yourself too seriously.
5. Play golf. I admit golf doesn’t always help, but as Bobby Jones said : A leading difficulty with the average player is that he totally misunderstands what is meant by concentration. He may think he is concentrating hard when he is merely worrying.” I think this might be the answer to my game. I am going to try this concentrating idea.
6. Sleep. Maybe the most important item on the list, but far from the easiest.
None of these are a solution in themselves, but they have helped me mitigate anxiety’s impact. I can, and do try at times to ignore them, but when I do, I end up paying the price.
Be good to yourself. You deserve it.
